I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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