Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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