There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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