are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
