I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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