I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
