i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
