this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
