Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
