Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
