Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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