We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He felt like a one man threesome
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
