maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize