walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
