he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
