Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
