Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize