Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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