trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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