We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize