Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
