you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
