u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
