i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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