Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
