i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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