you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
