I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
