nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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