cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
