I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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