My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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