I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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