just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
