Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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