Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
