i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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