She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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