I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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