Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hippo gnu deer
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
