Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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