I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
