time to smoke my breakfast
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
