Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
