So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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