I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
