next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
