So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
