If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sext me about skeletons
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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