Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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