I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
