apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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