fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize