After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize