just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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