No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
