walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
