I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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