yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
