why didn't you poke me back
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
