If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
