If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
