Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are we still banned from the library?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
